Mind Your Manners, My Dear Marauders
by georgiapeach1013
Summary: Aki Kaze is just your average witch. She goes to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and has an ordinary life. But then, when she accepts the position of the Marauder's etiquette teacher of sorts, her life starts to get a lot more interesting.
1. An Introduction

Aki Kaze was simply put, an ordinary girl. There was nothing spectacular about her, nothing out of the ordinary. She could play the piano pretty well. That was about as remarkable as she was. She was Asian, Japanese to be exact. Most thought she was anorexic, even though she wasn't. Just very thin. She was funny, sarcastic, relatively bright (although you wouldn't know it if you had a conversation with her), and had an intense fear of little children. No one knew why, she just did and that was good enough for them.

One day Aki received a letter. Not just any letter, however. It was a letter from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Was anyone in her family a wizard? Nope. Did anyone even know magic did, in fact, exist? Not a one. Did everyone think she was absolutely crazy when she said that she'd like to try out this magical ability she seemed to have? You betcha. So Aki, the ordinary girl, with one letter became extraordinary. Well, except in the Wizarding Community. Then she was just another witch. A pretty standard witch. No special powers or hidden talents. She was Aki. And that was just fine with her.

Aki had been trying out this magical ability for four years now. She was going into her fifth year at Hogwarts and was to be a prefect. She was put into Hufflepuff, being loyal, idealistic, and responsible. She usually understood and connected to people, making them feel good about themselves. It's a talent that may seem mundane but in truth is very hard to come upon in life. It's the Aki's of the world that keeps it running, the conflict resolvers and the peace keepers. Although not popular or fantastic, she had friends and even one or two boyfriends. Life was good.

She arrived at the school and at the feast later that night Professor Sprout, the Hufflepuff head, came to talk to her.

"Aki, my dear, I must speak to you about your job as prefect."

"Of course."

"It seems we've been having trouble with a certain group of students, the marauders. Last year, on the last day of school, they pulled a prank…"

"…with the giant squid? Yes, I remember it."

"Yes, yes, of course. To show we weren't joking when we said that the start of the next term would bring their punishment we would like to give them a detention of sorts."

"And what would this have to do with me?"

"Well this detention isn't a normal detention with teachers and unbelievably boring tasks. We want you, since you are probably one of the most responsible students here, to meet with them in a classroom once a week. When you say they're ready, they can end their sessions. Feel free to make it as boring as possible."

"…um…"

"Now of course you don't have to. We would just have to do it ourselves…" She trailed off and a troubled look found its way to her face.

"It's all right. I'll do it, I suppose."

"You will? Fantastic! You can start tomorrow night."

Aki nodded and returned to her conversation with her friends. She glanced at the marauders who were sitting at the Gryffindor table, laughing and generally enjoying themselves. This was going to be…interesting.


	2. There's No Vaccine for Stupidity

Later that night Aki and her friends were sitting in the room they all shared.

"So let me get this straight," Elle, a cheerful blonde girl, said, "You're basically going to go instill some manners into these boys."

"That's right," Aki said.

"You are so lucky!" Kate told her. She had brown hair and brown eyes. "You get to be alone in a room with the three hottest guys in the school (well, and Peter) for who knows how long. Any girl would kill to be in your position."

"Or any position with them," Lane said as she walked into the room from the bathroom. Lane was a beautiful black girl with straight hair and sharp eyes.

"Lane!" Aki exclaimed and threw a pillow at the girl as the others snickered.

"She is right, though. Those are some good looking boys, you have to admit." Elle said.

"Well, all right. I suppose they are rather handsome." Aki confessed.

"Do you hear that, girls? She supposes they're rather handsome." Kate said with a flourish of her hand.

"Oh shut up! Besides, it's not like any of them would ever consider me. In my mind, I'm just there because the teachers want me to."

"So you own up to being a teacher's pet?" Lane asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No! I'm just very conscious of the impression they have of me." Aki confirmed and crossed her arms. All three girls looked at one another and burst out laughing.

"Oh come on, you know you are!" Elle giggled out. Aki sighed.

"Oh fine, maybe just a little. I am who I am and if you guys don't like it you can all just bite me."

"And just why would we do _that?_" Kate said as she grinned.

"Because these are the days of our Hogwarts," Lane said dramatically. They all laughed again and went to bed, ready to start a new year at the beloved school.

-------

The next morning the girls dressed in their uniforms and headed down to breakfast.

"YOU THERE!" They heard someone call down the corridor.

"Prongs, what was her name?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Ask Remus! He's smart!"

"Good idea, Peter. Yes, Remus, what was her name?"

"Aki, Padfoot. It was Aki."

"Oh yes, that sounds right. Thanks, mate. AKI!"

Aki turned around slowly and faced the four boys with a smile on her face.

"Yes?"

They all stopped in front of her and Sirius crossed his arms.

"I heard you're to be giving us lessons on how to behave."

"And?"

"It's true?! I told you, James!"

"Yes, Sirius," she said, "we're going to meet every Friday night…"

James and Sirius let out a yelp. How dare they take away their Friday nights?!

"…5:00…"

"B-b-but that's dinner!" Peter squeaked.

"…to 8:00."

"When will we stop going to these 'lessons?'" Remus asked.

"They'll stop when I tell the Professors you're ready to stop."

Sirius let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh good, so we go one or two times then you give the all clear and…"

"Not so fast. I think it's a great idea, taming you lot. They should've done it years ago in my opinion; I'll certainly have my work cut out for me."

"But you can't take away our Friday nights!" James pleaded. "Those are the best date nights!"

She snorted.

"Yea and I suppose Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat."

Sirius glared, James furrowed his eyebrows, Remus chuckled, and Peter looked around nervously.

"So I'll see you boys at 5:00 tonight?"

They grumbled and walked away leaving a triumphant Aki standing there, her friends laughing behind her.

"Come on, girls. Let's go get some food."

-------

As the mail came in that morning Aki's owl Kogata dropped the post onto her lap. It was a Christmas Island Hawk Owl, small and a reddish brown color. It had large, round, yellow eyes.

"Thanks, Ko." She said as she patted the cooing owl. It flew off to the owlery and she opened the paper, the first headline catching her eye.

_YOU KNOW WHO GETTING BOLDER BY THE MINUTE! ATTACKS ON MUGGLE TOWNS!_

Her stomach dropped as she thought of her family. They were muggles, and from the towns listed here she figured it was only a matter of time before they were next.

"I have to go…" She mumbled to Elle. "…be back before class starts…"

She stood up, ignoring Elle's questions of why she was leaving. She walked out, still reading about the attacks.

"I wonder what's up with her," Sirius said with a mouth full of toast. James looked where his friend was pointing and frowned.

"She looks pretty upset."

"I know, hmm, well, not my problem."

James' eyes left the Japanese girl and went to Sirius.

"You're too kind."

"That's what people keep telling me."

-------

The first class Aki had was Divination. She walked in with Elle and found the Marauders sitting there at one of the tables, goofing off as usual. She rolled her eyes and got a table for her and Elle.

"Aki," she whispered excitedly, "there's the Marauders!"

"Really, Elle? It looks more like a pack of monkeys to me." She replied and dropped her book bag on the ground with a thud. All for boys looked over at them. Aki smiled sweetly and Elle blushed.

"Aki! That was rude. You don't like them?"

"Just be glad I'm not in too much of a sarcastic mood today, Sweetie."

"Hint taken," she said and changed the subject. Soon Professor Hemlock strolled in and to the center of the classroom.

"Good morning students and welcome to Divination."

Some grunts and nods of heads ensued. She cleared her throat. A hand shot up in the air.

"Yes, Mr. Black?"

"If we bring in fortune cookies, does that count as extra credit?" Snickers and giggles followed his comment and the professor glared at him.

"Don't worry about him, professor." Aki said. The amazed class turned to look at her. "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

Laughter rang throughout the chamber and an indignant Sirius stood up.

"What did you say?!"

She sighed.

"Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?"

"Oh don't be jealous just because I'm better looking than you."

"Ha! Likely story. This is what it's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome."

"Well calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people."

"I have one question; can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on vacation."

"Oh yea? Well _I _have a question for _you_! Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?"

"Nature, eh? Well in that case you're like Bambi with testosterone."

"Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice."

"Are your parents siblings?"

"Learn from your parents mistakes—use birth control."

"Want to know something cool, everyone? If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean."

"Too bad for you there's no vaccine for stupidity."

She growled and hurled a cup full of cold tea on him. He gasped.

"I HATE YOU!" Both yelled at the same time.

"MISS KAZE, MR. BLACK THAT IS ENOUGH!"

Both turned around to face her, visibly shaking with anger.

"TO THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE, NOW!"

They both grumbled and left the room. After a few moments of walking in silence, Aki decided to break the ice.

"Listen, Sirius…"

"Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date."

Her jaw dropped. The nerve of him! She was trying to patch things up and he…he…ugh! She walked faster and made sure she was at least ten long paces away before she let a tear slip from her eye. She didn't know why she was crying, she just felt like it. She had never been so mad or frustrated in her life.

But he, of course, was triumphant. He had had the last comeback. He was right in the middle of his gloating when he saw her hand move up and wipe at her face. Her eye, to be exact. He suddenly didn't feel as elated as he did.

"Aki?"

She walked faster. He sighed and walked along behind her.

_Maybe I should go up and talk to her…_

_He really needs to come up and talk to me._

_But she'd probably just think up some new insult!_

_It's not like I'd insult him or anything._

_I wonder what would make her feel better._

_I wish he would hug me._

_Do I really hate her?_

_I really hate him._

She reached the statue and said the password.

"Candied Cockroaches."

They stepped onto the revolving staircase and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

Walking inside they sat down on two plump chairs sitting in front of Professor Dumbledore's desk.

"Now," he said with a smile, "what's the issue?"

Like a bursting dam, the story rushed out.

"We were in Divination…"

"…and he makes this smart ass comment about cookies or something…"

"…and she insults me! So what am I to do but…"

"…be an even bigger ass than he already was! So I…"

"…decided to match wits with me…"

"…and then the professor got mad and sent us here." Aki finished and Sirius nodded. The headmaster chuckled.

"I see."

"And the worst part is," Sirius whined, "I have to see her every Friday for three hours!"

"Ah yes, Miss Kaze was the one assigned to your punishment. I thought that was a rather ingenious plan on Professor Sprout's part."

"So am I still going to do it?"

"I don't see why not."

Sirius groaned and Aki grinned evilly.

"In fact, I think that you should give Mr. Black a private lesson during the next Hogsmeade trip."

"…WHAT?!" Both of them yelled.

"But Professor!" Aki protested.

"THAT'S SO UNFAIR!" Sirius exploded.

"Not in my mind. Now I suggest you go to your next class, hopefully it won't be the same one."

"Yes, sir." Aki said as Sirius pouted. They got up and left.

"See you tonight, Sirius." She said as she walked down to the Potions classroom.

"Yea, yea…" He mumbled as he walked in the opposite direction.

Tonight was just going to be so much fun.


	3. Can I Get Some Compensation Please?

"I hate authority."

"Wow, Padfoot, how very hippie of you."

"Prongs, Remus is being sarcastic again!"

"What am I, your mother? Like I care."

"That's funny, James."

"Oh be quiet Peter, we're here."

The four boys walked into the empty classroom and saw Aki sitting on the teacher's desk waiting for them.

"I guess I'm going to have to touch on punctuality. You're late."

They looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 5:15.

"Um…so?" Sirius said as they all sat down in the first row of desks.

"Being on time is important, not only because it's extremely rude to be late but also because you might miss something really important. Suppose James, Peter, and Remus came on time but you came late and I told them if they stopped coming their lessons would stop. You got here late and missed it. Therefore, you still came to lessons but they didn't. You had lessons and they didn't. See the importance of arriving on time?"

"Psh, I'd notice they weren't going and stop going myself."

"Ok, I was dancing around naked. You were late. Five seconds before you came, I put my clothes on. You saw nothing. But your friends were on time. They got a nice little show."

"…oh…"

The three other students laughed at Sirius who was now blushing.

"Now, today we're going to learn about respect. Who knows what respect is?"

James and Sirius looked around the room and Remus sighed.

"Respect is to show or feel admiration. If you respect someone's wishes, you honor them and don't go against them."

"Perfect! And did you boys show respect when you had the giant squid try to seduce Severus?"

"No…" They all answered.

"Exactly. You probably made him feel really bad. So don't do it, ok?"

"Why not? Being disrespectful isn't a big deterrent for me." Sirius said.

"It should be! How would you like it if I humiliated you?"

"Pah! That's impossible."

She shook her head.

"I thought you were better than that, Sirius."

"Well…I'm not…"

"Apparently."

An awkward silence fell as Aki looked at Sirius disappointedly and Sirius found his shoes suddenly very interesting.

"So you're saying," She said slowly, "that you need compensation for being a good person?"

"Well…it sure would be nice."

"Ok, this goes for all of you," she announced. "If you are respectful of your fellow students for the entire week in between lessons, you'll receive a kiss."

All four heads perked up.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Sirius exclaimed. "Does today and the day before count?"

"Well, yes I suppose they do."

She walked over to Peter who was sitting on the other side of the room.

"One kiss for Peter…"

She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed. She moved over to the next desk.

"One for Remus…"

She kissed Remus' cheek and moved to James' desk.

"And one for James."

She kissed James on the cheek and walked back to the front of the room.

"…WHAT?!" Sirius yelled. "DON'T _I_ GET SOMETHING?!"

"Oh yes, silly me. I forgot."

He smiled triumphantly as she walked over.

_**SMACK!**_

He yelped as she slapped him.

"You get a slap for being so rude and disrespectful to me today in Divination."

He glared at her as he held his cheek. The other three were cracking up and Aki was now grinning.

"Continuing on…"

-------

"So how'd the first lesson go?" Kate asked Aki the next day at breakfast.

"Well…" She trailed off and looked over at the Gryffindor table. Sirius was sitting there looked a little less happy than usual with a big, purple, hand shaped bruise on the side of his face.

"Ouch, that was bruise was your doing then?" Lane questioned.

"Yep! I was quite proud of it myself."

"I'm sure you were, it actually bruised!" Elle declared.

"Yea, how'd you get so strong all of a sudden?" Kate inquired.

"Well," Lane answered, "as you know Aki spent part of the summer with me."

"And her brother is a big time quiditch player." Aki said.

"He's a beater like me." Lane added.

"I was already in shape, my sister and I like to play soccer (a muggle game) sometimes. Lane's brother taught me how to play."

"She's such a good beater! Better than I am, and I'm on the team!" Lane said.

"Aki, you should try out!" Elle said as she grinned at Aki over her pumpkin juice.

"Yea, you know who else is a beater right?" Kate added with a smirk. They all looked over at Sirius.

"You could beat him at his own game." Lane said.

"You guys might be on to something here…"

-------

"Remus!" Sirius cried as he pulled on his friend's sleeve.

"What?!" He asked exasperatedly.

"They're looking at me!"

He pointed to Aki and her friends at the Hufflepuff table. They were looked over at him with smug looks on their faces.

"Sirius, afraid of a few girls? What are they going to do, slap you?" Remus joked.

"Ah ha ha, you're too funny."

"To quote a friend of mine, that's what people keep telling me."


End file.
